POSSUM HOLLOW, AR — Area hunter Dale Futch, 47, is once again telling anyone within earshot that he was "one day away" from harvesting what he describes as "the biggest buck in Craighead County history," despite season ending three weeks ago with his tag still firmly attached to his vest.

"He was patterned. I had him dead to rights," Futch explained from his recliner, gesturing with a Slim Jim toward a trail camera photo so blurry it could be a Labrador retriever. "One more day. That's all I needed. Maybe two."

Futch's hunting companions paint a slightly different picture. "Dale saw a deer on opening day from about 400 yards," reported longtime hunting buddy Carl Thibodeaux. "Since then, it's been mostly napping and eating Vienna sausages."

Wildlife biologist Dr. Ellen Rayburn of the state Game and Fish Commission noted that the phenomenon is well-documented. "We call it 'Proximity Delusion Syndrome.' It affects approximately 94% of deer hunters who didn't harvest an animal. They were all, without exception, 'one day away.'"

Futch has already purchased three new trail cameras, a different brand of scent blocker, and what he calls "the lucky stand" for next season. His wife, Donna, reports he has not yet purchased the new dishwasher he promised her in August.

"He'll get that buck before he gets me that dishwasher," Donna said flatly. "I've accepted this."

At press time, Futch was seen at the local sporting goods store pricing crossbows, calling it "Plan B for when this old shoulder gives out," despite his shoulder being perfectly fine.